How to cope with not being loved by my own mother?
I am 16 years old, and ever since the age of 10 I have felt unloved from my mother. As a child I was always 'daddy's girl', so I guess I never really had any memories with my mom. But, as I got older and wanted a women to look up to, she wasn't there. She was giving all her love and attention to my older sister. My sister was her first born, she's 9 years older than me. Before I was born and my father came into the picture, my mother and sister traveled the world together. They lived in England together and always talk about the memories when they lived in Detriot together. It was just the two of them. And it was that way for about 4 years. Then in 1995, I was born as an accident. My sister was no longer and only child and she treats me like absolute crap. And my mother defends her on everything. My mother and sister always seem to mention how great it was when it was just the two of them. My mother is VERY Christian. Very strict and such. She lets me go places and stuff, but as for wanting to spend time with her, wanting her to come watch me sing at my concerts, and soccer games. She's always too busy. She does go, but she always complains and yells at me about them. She says I'm wasting HER time. She'll make dinner, or take everyone out for dinner, and when I come home from work/school/practice. Nothing. She does that all the time. And when I go to make myself something and try to just ignore it, there is nothing in the house, and she knows that. She just ignores me and falls asleep. When I was 13 she called the police on me and told them I choked her after her and I got into and argument. I would NEVER do that. But, since she had had her thyroid taken out two days prior, her neck was still red. So, I got put on probation. I try to run away, and she just calls the cops and they bring me back. She's had talks with my school conselours and now they don't believe a word I say. I just feel hopeless. I don't even have the energy anymore. My father does NOTHING to help me, he's whipped. He always defends her. Don't get me wrong, I love that women. After everything, I still love her. All I want is for the feeling to be mutual. Yes, I'm 16 and you may think I'm just a 'spoiled brat'. But, that's not the case. I work, I save for anything that I want. I pay for everything for me. I paid for my driver's ed, my permit, both $500 prom dresses, all of my homecoming dresses, my cell phone and the bill, I'm currently saving up for a car and when I do, I'll have to pay for the insurance. My parents have paid for ALL of that for my sister. They bought her a car, paid for insurance, bought her cell phone, STILL pay for the bill and she's 24 and lives at home. Since my mom is super Christian, I believe the reason she doesn't treat me like she does my sister is because, my sister is also very religous. And I am not. I believe in God, but not like they do. I'm still working on it. And I just feel as though I'm not up to my mother's standards. I try talking to my mom about it, but she says that I'm a spoiled brat that is disrespectful. She will just laugh in my face, and then while I'm still trying to talk to her, she sings Christian hymns. When I try talking to my dad about it, he says I'm being ridiculous. Anways, sorry it's long. I just need some help....

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